It started Thursday.
We were out of town for the busy week. It was very little at first but...there was blood.
Fresh, new pink blood.
At first, I was a little shocked but I let it go. Some women bleed during pregnancy. I wasn't cramping and it wasn't consistent...yet.
It continued throughout the day but was still pretty mild.
Friday morning (the day of the hubs' graduation,) there was nothing mild about it. It was red, blood red! I sobbed. Movie-type bawling.
I knew what was happening but I hoped I was wrong.
As the day progressed, it got worse, much worse. Then the cramps came. I could barely stand up straight. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I don't know if it was the horror of what was happening that made me feel sick or the pregnancy hormones still swimming through my body. By the afternoon, there were clots. I was certain.
I called the RE's office. He told me to continue all my meds, rest, no walking, no heavy lifting and he'd see me tomorrow.
I lost it! I couldn't hold back the tears. My mom held me and cried with me. I texted the besty and told her it was the beginning of the end and I didn't think I could do this again. It hurt. In my stomach and my heart. I texted the hubs to let him know as well. I told him I was sorry. Sorry I was doing this to him again.
By the end of the day, I had come to terms with it. It was happening. I asked for prayers but I was just praying for peace at that point. I was mentally trying to figure out when we'd go to the ER for the D&C since Saturday was the hubs' graduation party.
The graduation came and went (I'll post more about that in another post.) People kept asking me if I felt okay. I didn't. I felt physically ill and heart-sick.
We decided to head home that night. We drove an hour and a half at 10pm. At some point during that car ride of tears I started begging God for a miracle. If He can part the Red Sea and turn water into wine, he could easily save our baby.
Saturday was our ultrasound. Silent tears of fear streamed down my face during the 30 minute car ride to the RE.
I fought the tears while I waited in the waiting room. The nurse asked me if I was okay. Nope.
I didn't even look at the monitor during the ultrasound. I couldn't.
Then...he said it.
"There's a heartbeat."
There is? (said through tears)
"And here's the second sac."
Two? (gasp)
I cried. Tears of relief. Tears of a miracle.
One baby was measuring a day or two behind and didn't have a heartbeat yet. I was only 6 weeks along so I'm hoping it was just too early.
I'm sure I'm selfish for hoping for two heartbeats. I should just be grateful one had a heartbeat. But, I'm hoping for both.
The bleeding was caused by a subchorionic hematoma. The RE speculates that the third embryo implanted but didn't make it. The bleeding has stopped and there's a small pool of blood in the uterus that the RE says will clear up on its own. He says it will not harm the other two sacs.
Obviously, I'm beyond grateful that there is even one healthy baby in there. Two sends me over the moon!!! I'm praying that they both have nice, strong heartbeats next week. We have another ultrasound on Saturday at 7 weeks pregnant.
I'm also grateful to know that there is an explanation for the bleeding and that it stopped!
So, if you will, pray with me. Hope with me. We've already seen one miracle. Maybe Saturday we'll see the second beating miracle.
Thank you all for the Twitter love and support. Even when I didn't have any hope, you all did and I appreciate every bit of that.
We were out of town for the busy week. It was very little at first but...there was blood.
Fresh, new pink blood.
At first, I was a little shocked but I let it go. Some women bleed during pregnancy. I wasn't cramping and it wasn't consistent...yet.
It continued throughout the day but was still pretty mild.
Friday morning (the day of the hubs' graduation,) there was nothing mild about it. It was red, blood red! I sobbed. Movie-type bawling.
I knew what was happening but I hoped I was wrong.
As the day progressed, it got worse, much worse. Then the cramps came. I could barely stand up straight. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I don't know if it was the horror of what was happening that made me feel sick or the pregnancy hormones still swimming through my body. By the afternoon, there were clots. I was certain.
I called the RE's office. He told me to continue all my meds, rest, no walking, no heavy lifting and he'd see me tomorrow.
I lost it! I couldn't hold back the tears. My mom held me and cried with me. I texted the besty and told her it was the beginning of the end and I didn't think I could do this again. It hurt. In my stomach and my heart. I texted the hubs to let him know as well. I told him I was sorry. Sorry I was doing this to him again.
By the end of the day, I had come to terms with it. It was happening. I asked for prayers but I was just praying for peace at that point. I was mentally trying to figure out when we'd go to the ER for the D&C since Saturday was the hubs' graduation party.
The graduation came and went (I'll post more about that in another post.) People kept asking me if I felt okay. I didn't. I felt physically ill and heart-sick.
We decided to head home that night. We drove an hour and a half at 10pm. At some point during that car ride of tears I started begging God for a miracle. If He can part the Red Sea and turn water into wine, he could easily save our baby.
Saturday was our ultrasound. Silent tears of fear streamed down my face during the 30 minute car ride to the RE.
I fought the tears while I waited in the waiting room. The nurse asked me if I was okay. Nope.
I didn't even look at the monitor during the ultrasound. I couldn't.
Then...he said it.
"There's a heartbeat."
There is? (said through tears)
"And here's the second sac."
Two? (gasp)
I cried. Tears of relief. Tears of a miracle.
One baby was measuring a day or two behind and didn't have a heartbeat yet. I was only 6 weeks along so I'm hoping it was just too early.
I'm sure I'm selfish for hoping for two heartbeats. I should just be grateful one had a heartbeat. But, I'm hoping for both.
The bleeding was caused by a subchorionic hematoma. The RE speculates that the third embryo implanted but didn't make it. The bleeding has stopped and there's a small pool of blood in the uterus that the RE says will clear up on its own. He says it will not harm the other two sacs.
Obviously, I'm beyond grateful that there is even one healthy baby in there. Two sends me over the moon!!! I'm praying that they both have nice, strong heartbeats next week. We have another ultrasound on Saturday at 7 weeks pregnant.
I'm also grateful to know that there is an explanation for the bleeding and that it stopped!
So, if you will, pray with me. Hope with me. We've already seen one miracle. Maybe Saturday we'll see the second beating miracle.
Thank you all for the Twitter love and support. Even when I didn't have any hope, you all did and I appreciate every bit of that.